


at the beginning,

by smallestfryx



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: AU, Alternative Universe - Royalty, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Constipation, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Inspired by Anastasia (1997 & Broadway), Oral Sex, Role Reversal, Sex, Slight memory lost, Young Ben Solo, Young Rey, alternative universe, royal setting, royalty rey, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:07:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22131526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallestfryx/pseuds/smallestfryx
Summary: "I remember you - why do I remember you? From where, how?"Her voice asked the question above a whisper.His golden speckled eyes set ablaze as he stared into hers."No.... it can't be. It can't be you."Reylo meets Anya/Demitry.You're very welcome.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I've written for quite some time, use to do it on a tumblr that is long gone - I've always read fics and since TROS I've been consumed by my ever loving Reylo and have fallen into the pit of being complete trash all over again for them (i'm an adult - i swear) but I figured I'd finally cave and write my angsty heart out.
> 
> First fic on here in years - so bare with me, I have no idea how many chapters this will be or how often updates will come out but I'll try my hardest to keep it fluent.
> 
> enjoyyyyyy. xo

_**It all came in flashes**_

Her eyes were bright, full of love, she was young - cheeks full of the rosiest shade of pink as she ran through the palace halls. Laughter filled the open space as she squealed and hid beneath a table while a big smile of someone she couldn't place would try to grab her and tickling her until she jumped into their arms.

...

Loud screams and everyone frantically running as loud sounds filled her home - bombs, shooting, and more yelling.

...

"You will NOT take her! Do not touch her!" The voice yelled out. It echoed in her head. 

... 

Her running frantically away, desperately trying to find somewhere to hide. Sobbing. Terrified. The other voice yelling her name behind her, as men in armored white searched for her. Bodies were everywhere. Then a softer voice. A younger one. Dark hair, golden speckled eyes, then his hand grabbing hers to pull her to safety of a hideaway.

...

The armored white solders pulling her from the hideaway, the screaming, as the ripped her away from the safety of a home. The dark haired boy being pulled away, their hands gripping for one another until they couldn't anymore. 

...

" _REY_!" His voice ringing in her head as he yelled it and they yanked him away. 

Rey, Rey, REY.

* * *

She woke up in sweats most nights, especially when those scenes flashed through her head. Heart pounding in her chest. Her hand felt on fire still. Her hazel eyes scanned the empty room around her. She's alone. She's always alone. She's always been alone. Feeling her heart slow as she took in the familiar darkness of the small studio apartment, she pulled her long legs towards her chest and rested her forehead on her knees as she doubled over. Where were these thoughts coming from, were they memories? They couldn't be. Running her hands through her now damp brown hair, she knew she wouldn't be getting any more rest - not tonight.

* * *

It happened again, unable to sleep most nights now the exhaustion took over and she fell asleep at the small table she had managed to save up enough money to get to use as a possible work space/dining table/and some more counter space. 

An older woman in a gigantic kitchen, baking cookies, pulling her onto the counter to let her sneak a bite. "Don't tell the king, you'll have me in a load of trouble." She nodded, "I promise, ms. Leia" A toothless smile came out as she wrapped their pinkies together and she took a bite of the cookie.

...

The yelling comes back. Ms.Leia is screaming. "BEN!" The dark haired boy is taken by the white solders. So is she.

...

A giant plane is waiting. She's pulling away, screaming. Then she slips out of the white gloved hand and falls back and everything else is gone.

* * *

It happens so many times, and she still can't manage to put all the scenes together and why she keeps picturing herself as this young princess when she was none of it. She was no princess. She didn't even have a real name or place. Definitely wasn't Rey. She knew no white solders, knew no kind smile that belonged to what she thought was the young girls father, she knew no Ms. Leia who snuck her cookies, and she definitely knew no Ben who would fight groups of armored solders to pull her into a safe spot. That wasn't her luck or her story. She was Riley from Jakku, she was eighteen, her parents abandoned her at the age of five on the road, and she grew up in the foster system. She had no memories of anything before hand, but everything leading after it reminded her everyday she definitely was the furthest thing from a princess.

She came from nothing. She was nothing.

Months went by like this, every couple of nights she had them crash into her making her jump in her sleep. She could hear the screams in her head. She could feel the heat of a hand in hers. She was going crazy. That had to be it. She officially lost her shit. That's all it could be. 

\---

On a typical Friday night Riley spent it consumed in books, in the library reading up on all different types of things. Tonight wasn't any different, but instead of reading books she grabbed her paper and pencils and sketched the images that had been torturing slowly for the past year. 

"Do you enjoy pain, why the hell are you drawing Stormtroopers?" 

The voice took her back and she lifted her gaze from the paper and up at from where the voice came. She saw a man with dark skin, full lips, kind eyes, hunched over the near table looking at her confused. "You-You know what these are?" She said surprised, gazing down on the drawing and then back at him, tucking a strand of her brown hair behind her ear. She ran her fingertips along the paper.

"Well yeah, I'm a history major and those ARE stormtroopers if I've ever seen any - did you draw that from memory?!" He asked in astonishment, he was still completely enthralled with the damn picture, not paying any attention that her mouth was still slacked open in confusion. "W-where are they from? I thought I just made them up?" She swallowed down the knot in her throat. He grabbed the paper looking over the details of the picture, the scenery and he just stared at her, yanking her up to her feet and pulling her down one of the isles in the silent library. 

"You're telling me you've NEVER read up on this? I'm calling BS... it's spot on." He grabbed a book from the shelf and flipped through the pages until he found one he wanted, "You drew Alderaan, and I'm assuming with the StormTroopers this is based on the attack that took place and demolished the country."

"You're kidding right? This isn't real? This sounds like some Harry Potter crap -" She tried to laugh it off and felt goosebumps crawl over her skin as she looked at him and he simply shook is head. "I don't know girl, you're the one who drew it - apparently from fucking memory." 

"Riley... my name is Riley."

He nodded and outstretched his arm, "Finn. Nice to meet you."

She didn't talk to many people ever, so this was new. She wanted to tell him instantly where the image came from and how she drew it but she couldn't bare herself to scare him off, because it wasn't normal. If this was real, which he swore it was. How did she picture it clear enough to draw it without ever reading anything on the subject.

"Finn, do stormtroopers still exist?"

She questioned nervously as she looked through the book, then closing it to her chest. 

"Yeah, of course - they are basically military service but they fall under the name The First Order, they aren't exactly the good guys though. From what I read they are the ones that killed the royal family of Alderaan, The Emperor Palpatine was the one who ordered the hit.' She reveled in this information, taking it all in. The images that flashed through her head over and over aligning with everything he said. 

"I-I have to go now." She grabbed the book and her belongings and headed towards the check out, and quickly checking out the book before heading out into the cold dry air of the night, turning a few ways before she found herself alone in the nearest alley. Breathe in, breathe out.

"What the actual hell." 

She told her self sinking down into an almost sitting position against the wall. 

I'm going insane, officially going insane. 

Sirens went off overhead, and she knew that meant she had to find shelter - a storm was coming and she couldn't be outside for it but she couldn't move, she couldn't breathe. She couldn't figure what everything meant, from the corner of her eye she saw them. 

Six men, covered in complete black - falling back onto her ass she pushed herself away from the wall trying to gather her stuff and get up but she was frozen, she couldn't move. "We've been looking for you." One of the masked men said as they all in unison stepped forward to her. She let out a blood curling scream before one covered her mouth and yanked her up effortlessly. Their grips on her forearms made the flashes of the little girl being yanked away. She tried to fight but they pulled her in the direction they wanted but it was no use. There was six of them and only one of her.

One of the six asked, "Do we take her to Ren or lock her away?" She looked confused. Locked Away? Ren? Her heartbeat quickened and she could feel fear begin to take over as the adrenaline slipped away. Before she knew it she was thrown into a small aircraft. Her kicks were useless and she knew they were getting tired of her fight. Then a blow came to her head and then she collapsed. All she heard lastly was one of the men tell the other in a deep grumble. "If this is really her, I'm telling him you fucking did it." 

Then darkness.


	2. golden boy,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Riley meets Kylo Ren.

* * *

The flickers of the light woke her up, and instantly she could feel the radiating pain through her body. Shaking her to the core, her hands ran through her hair much shortened hair - did they really fucking cut her hair? -, she could feel the bump along the base of her neck, throbbing as she let her fingertips graze it. She looked down at herself, wearing a white oversized shirt and nothing else. _Oh god, oh god - what happened, please tell me they didn't?_ Where the hell was she and why couldn't she remember any of it. Her slender but toned arms wrapped around her frame as she could feel the complete panic racing through her. 

The footsteps echoing down the cement made her eyes peer from her arms still wrapped around her legs, 

"Who's there?!" Her voice was weak, giving away every terrified thought that ran through her mind. The person didn't speak, but the slender red-headed man appeared at the door of the cell she was being contained in, familiar white solders that covered her thoughts appeared behind him and she could feel the blood draining from her face. _Stormtroopers_? I think that's what Finn had called them. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to wake up from what felt like a god awful dream.

"Stand up, girl."

That's it? That's the menacing voice? She looked at him and swallowed letting few seconds pass - he tapped on the bars and the men in white stepped closer in one swift movement and she felt her stomach knot, making her jump forward off the hard slab they considered a bed for her. 

"okay - okay, I'm standing." raising her hands in a surrendering attempt walking towards the man, seperated by bars, she looked at him. A million questions running through her mind. She watched him carefully wondering if he would speak or continue looking at her with hunger in those beady little pupils. In one swift move he gripped her jaw yanking her flat against the bars, he squeezed her jaw. "What's your name?" Her mouth remained open, trying to remember how the hell to speak and her brain couldn't remember - squeezing her eyes shut as she could feel the leather dig into jaw, sure enough to leave a bruise. "Do I need to ask you again?" Shaking her head as tears rimmed her eyes. "I-It's Riley, my name is Riley!" She cried out and he pushed back her face making her stumble a couple steps. 

"Take her to Rose, I'll have the orders sent her way. She'll know what to do with her."

"Wait, what? Who's Rose? Do what with me? Please - What is going on?!" She screamed out as the unlock echoed in her head loudly and they stepped in and gripped her arm, one on each side and she wiggled around, and it was useless. Just as it was the night before with the men in suited black. Deeper in her thought she remembered, just like it was when she was a child. She shook the thought away. That WASN'T her. Her name was Riley, not Rey! 

* * *

She was barefoot, hair a complete mess, and nothing covered her besides this large white shirt on her small frame. She felt naked in ways beyond clothing, confused, and completely scared. They dragged her effortlessly even though she had stopped the fight long before they walked into the building they pulled her through. As they entered the room they tossed her towards the bed, "Rose will be right with you." There voice was distorted beneath the mask they wore and she wanted to know desperately what was beneath them but she nodded. In agreement, in fear? She didn't even know, all the emotions were becoming one.

Then a young lady walked in, small, dark hair, tanned skin, and she smiled at her. No hint of malace, but just a smile. The guards disappeared and she walked over to her grabbing Riley's now bruised face and patted her cheek in an almost caring way. "Don't worry, I'll get you fixed up before you meet the Emporer."

"The, WHO? Please, can you answer my questions, where am I? Who are all these people? Why was I taken?" Everything came out in a panic allowing the questions that were flooding her mind come out of her mouth in a jumbled mess. She felt so small even though she was taller than the girl, she looked at Riley so pitiful, that it made her feel completely small, she sunk down onto bed that sat in the center of the room. "I just want to know where I'm at."

"Exogul. You're in Exogul."

She tried to picture a world map and where the hell that was at because she had never in her life heard of the place, and she shook her head looking out window seeing nothing but stars and she felt the complete fear sink in once again. "W-what are you going to do to me? What is he going to do to me?" Rose smiled kindly once again, "Well first we are going to get you bathed and changed into proper attire fitting for you, and he won't do anything to you, he's been waiting for you, for years."

She froze once again, unable to process anymore. Closing her eyes tightly once again, pushing the heal of her palm into her eyes, as she counted to ten before opening them again just to see Rose looking at her patient as ever. Reaching for Riley's hand before walking into a grand bathroom that had to be just as big as Riley's Studio Apartment in Jakku. The water was already running, she could see the steam flowing from it, and the hint of jasmine oils filled her lungs. She felt Rose help her pull the shirt over her, instantly self aware. "Oh hun, it's okay - we've got the same anatomy here, come on lets get you cleaned up." She stepped in and sunk all the way down, letting the water hit up until her bruised jaw. Rose handed her a few rags. "I trust you can do this part on your own? I'm going to get your attire ready, there is a robe hanging next to the tub for when you're done, make sure to thoroughly wash that hair - they did a god awful job cutting it."

Riley just nodded. They really did. She had no idea what the hell was going on. But the water felt good.

* * *

Twenty minutes had come and gone, as Riley wrapped the thick robe around her frame and hair and she walked out to meet Rose who had place a few different attire options on the bed. Maybe this wasn't so bad? She mentally slapped herself. What the hell do you mean? This is awful. She ran her fingertips along the blouses, one black, another blue, a emerald dress in the mix, and then a floral deep red blouse. She pointed to that one and Rose gathered a pair of black formal slacks to match, along with black heels. 

Who exactly was this Emporer? 

She didn't object, simply got dressed and sat on the chair where Rose could reach her hair as she brushed it out, braiding one side and pinning it down. She sat there a few more minutes as Rose took her time making sure the bruise was hidden from her jaw and her cheeks were perfectly pink and lips the perfect shade to match. 

"Perfect!" Rose sing-songed in glee as she turned Riley to see herself in the long mirror. She wringed her hands together and nodded. Really having no idea what the hell she was about to walk into or who she was about to meet. She just knew they were about to be real disappointed when they found out she was not who they wanted and she desperately hoped they wouldn't just kill her off.

* * *

The knock on the door made Riley jump. Still on edge from the last twenty-four hours. It was the guards once again, and instantly she felt her heartrate pick up. Rose rubbed her arm. "It's okay, It's okay, they will be GENTLE this time." She glared at the two who were ready to escort her where she needed to be and the simply nodded their head. She felt the knot in her throat as she walked along with them. One in front of her leading the way, the other behind her, making sure she stayed right where they wanted her.

Windows completely covered the building they walked through, but she could see nothing but darkness outside. Stars flickering in the distance. 

After what felt like forever walking in the damn shoes she had for whatever reason picked out, they appeared in front of just about the largest doors she'd ever come across. The slightest knock was given by the guys, and she could feel the goosebumps cover her skin. _Who could these guys be possibly scared of_?

The doors opened and shades of red and black filled the air. An older man sat on a throne as he slowly rised at the sight of her. Outreaching his arms to greet her "You're home." She froze, completely in that spot. _Home? I don't have a home_. Her wide eyes took sight of everything around her. Being forced by the stormtroopers to take more steps till the older man was able to grab both of her hands. 

Pulling them both towards his cheeks as he kissed on of them. " _My sweet granddaughter, is home_." 

"I-I uhhhh" 

She couldn't speak. Did she say I'm not this girl. She would surely die. Did she agree? They would know the lie, wouldn't they?

All she could do was nod.

"We must celebrate, for the princess has come home!" His old raspy voice called out and within seconds people that were well hidden within the shadows came through and cheered, her heart was bound to burst through her chest. "My child, we will have a party in your honor."

All she could do was nod. Again.

She looked around, once again, her whole body turning to take it in, then she saw them, the six men who took her, she felt the fear prick through her once again. Surely they couldn't do anything now, they all thought she was the granddaughter of this man, some type of princess. She was introduced to dozens, coming up to her to welcome her home. Her eyes didn't leave theres as they stepped closer. That's when she saw him.

One that was not there that night. He wore black as well, but his mask was lined with metel where his eyes would be. Even though she could not see a single feature or where his gaze went she could swear on everything that he was staring at her. Rose appeared at her side with another bright smile. Quickly glancing at Rose then back to the man.

"Rose, I have one more question?"

"Hmmm?"

"W-who is that?"

"Those god awful terrifying things would be The Knights of Ren."

Riley nodded, but her eyes remained on the one in the center.

"And that - that would be Kylo Ren. Your grandfathers understudy you could say, his golden boy. . ."

Rose kept speaking, but Riley felt all the air taken from her body as she stared at him and she knew he was back, she knew it, she knew it. 

He stepped foward just as everyone else had, dipping his head. Why do they all wear this god awful mask.

His distorted voice broke through whatever spell she was under, "It's nice to finally meet you, Princess. - Kylo Ren, at your service."

She was holding her breath.

And it wasn't until she felt lightheaded that remembered that air was a vital part of living.


	3. look at me.

"Are you okay, Rey?" Rose whispered to her,

"Who? Rey - Oh yeah, yeah - Rey.. me, yes, I um, I'm fine." Her words were jumbled, confused as to why this large man that was covered head to toe in black and metal completelty put her in a state of complete distress. "Yeah, I'm fine." She repeated, telling the words more to herself as she cleared her throat.

She stepped down, wanting instantly to hide. How the hell was she planning to keep this up, when this random ass man who she couldn't even see but she _knew_ deep in her soul that he saw everything, the real her, the truth of whatever she was hiding. It wasn't that big of a deal, she never said she was her, she just agreed, and let this man who looked ancient believe she was this long lost grandchild, that's not awful - right? She turned the corner finally into an empty hall where she could breathe. 

One deep breath.

Another.

Pressing her hands over her face again, "I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this." She shook her head, letting her hands cover her mouth as she felt the panic fill every inch of her, reminding herself of the young girl in her forth foster home of the month on the brink of a panic attack. Her chest tightened and she tried to breathe. Eyes scanning the hall knowing she picked the most secluded spot and was instantly regretting it. She let her small frame sit on the floor, kicking the heels off her feet. Every voice in her head reminding her that this was an act. She was not their damn princess, if they could see her now they would know that instantly.

Breathe.

One deep breath.

The tears fell down her cheeks. She wanted to go home, _her home_. Not this strange place that didn't even exist on actual maps. This place with men in white armored suits, and others who were terrifying and in black. Then the other man who made her feel two inches and like he could see her entire damn soul. She didn't want to do this anymore.

She felt him before she saw him, his energy, it was like the warm breeze you crave at the end of a cold day. Not now, not now.

She didn't dare look up. She knew it was him. She could feel him staring at her, just as he was out in the grand hall.

He got down on his knees beside her, she felt her heart beat speed up once again just as the rollarcoaster of emotions were about to cease. 

"Look at me." His deep voice, muffled by that god awful mask. She didn't budge, kept her face burried within her hands. "I said, look at me!" He gripped her forearm and she could feel him restraining himself as her eyes shot up to meet metal, nothing but dark metal, reflecting herself.

"Stand up, now."

She did it.

"You're not her, aren't you." 

Shit, shit, shit.

"I can see it in your eyes. You have the eyes of a lost girl. You're nothing. You come from nothing. This is not your life."

She couldn't speak. 

He was right.

He recoiled his hand, looking her up and down. "If you're going to play the part, you better learn to not show weaknesses." Her confusion must have shown all over her face in that moment and she watched as his whole body tightened once again. "Y-your not going to tell?" She could see the leather on his glove tighten as her curled his hands in and out of a fist before he shook his head. "As long as you stay out of my way, I don't give a damn what you do." She was shocked remembering the words Rose had said. His golden boy. Should she feel betrayed for his honor? She ran her hands along her blouse and pants trying to push away any wrinkles.

  
"You look fine." Her eyes shot sideways looking up at him surprised, she could hear the difference in his voice as he said the three words. Her mouth fell open a little bit. "You're fidgeting with your attire before heading back out, isn't it so?" And she nodded. "I'm telling you, imposter, you look fine." Her mouth remained open as she blinked a few more times and he grumbled beneath that stupid helmet of his. She knew damn well he couldn't have been much older than her by the way he scoffed at her and that penetrating stare beneath that metal barrier.

"It's Riley - my name is Riley."

He nodded his head as he turned to head back down the hall. Stopping midway - before turning his head. "I apologize for the way my knights handled you - Riley." He cleared his throat after saying her name even though she knew he didn't need the vocal adjustment his voice sounded fine, but simply said "Thank you." And he was gone.

Was this a trap? Was he going out there to inform the emporer who she really was? She followed behind him quickly but by the time she made it back into the grand hall he was gone, along with the six grizzly sized men he called knights.


End file.
